Brian O’Hare: On Self-Actualization Through Fiction

Brian O’Hare, originally from Pittsburgh, is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, and former U.S. Marine Corps officer, now an award-winning writer and filmmaker living in Los Angeles. Find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and at his website BrianOHare.com.

In this post, Brian discusses the process of writing his new novel, Surrender, what his experience in filmmaking prepared him for in publishing, and more!

Name: Brian O'Hare
Book title: Surrender
Publisher: Syracuse University Press
Release date: November 1, 2022
Genre/category: Fiction/Short Story
Elevator pitch for the book: Marine Francis Keane journeys deep into the heart of the American hero myth—from the Friday night football fields of Western Pennsylvania to the Persian Gulf War and beyond—to discover what it means to be a man.

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If I didn’t write this book, my head (or my heart) would’ve exploded. It was a matter of “exorcism.” A reckoning maybe—of my time on this planet, and where we’re headed. Initially, there was no great vision— just me unburdening myself of stubborn thoughts; events haunting my imagination. As Manuel Puig said, “I like to recreate reality in order to understand it better.” That’s all I was trying to do.

My father was a Marine pilot in Vietnam. Flew hundreds of missions. Was shot down. A real deal Homeric hero—but with this New York Irish swagger. Growing up, it was impossible to escape his potent “mythology.” I spent years trying to “become” my father—I became the football team captain, Naval Academy midshipman, Marine Corps officer, Persian Gulf War veteran, husband, father; archetypically male roles consistent with my father’s idea of being a “sheepdog” or “protector”—yet ultimately, components of a larger, unquestioned “patriarchy” that I was no longer comfortable with.

It was a heavy burden. I needed to “demythologize.” To question. What did it all mean?

From idea to publication took seven years. Initially, the idea was simply to write stories as “back story” for characters of a proposed novel idea. As they developed, I found that my father—that mythology again—and our complicated relationship, worked their way into the stories. From this, characters spawned.

A protagonist, Francis Keane, who may or may not bear resemblance to yours truly, emerged, and a rich, interconnected world was born, with all those delicious “daddy issues” bubbling just beneath the surface. Part of the challenge of writing Surrender was considering the work as a whole, rather than just as “one-offs” or stand-alone stories. In the end, the stories hopefully have a cohesiveness closer to a novel than a collection of unrelated stories.

It was a seven-year long learning moment! But given my experience producing/distributing documentary film, the process was similar. Learning curves are brutal. For me, the biggest (welcome) surprise was that the readers’ reports were actually helpful!

As writers, engaged in what is essentially a solitary pursuit, it can be daunting to receive feedback—especially from strangers. We insulate ourselves with allies—trusted teachers, mentors, a writer’s group—so feedback from “outsiders” might be viewed with distrust or even hostility. Once I got over my delicate ego, I found the readers’ reports to be crafted with surprising care, intelligence, and insight. They clearly gave my book much thought and seemed even to “get” it! (Mind blown!) My book is infinitely better because of that feedback.

Publishing is a collaborative process—from editing to cover design. Go into it with an open mind and choose your battles. And, based on my experience with documentary film, I’d strongly recommend hiring good outside PR. If you’re not with one of the giant publishers, chances are your press’ PR team will be underfunded and overextended. Regardless of how much they love you or your book, they simply don’t have the bandwidth (or budget) to promote like HarperCollins.

Kim Dower, my PR agent, is wonderful. We joke that she’s the Marine Corps of PR—not afraid of anything. She works closely with the terrific Lisa Kuerbis, marketing director at Syracuse University Press to get the word out. It’s a good team. Good PR is not cheap —but it’s one of the best decisions that I made in the publishing process. You spend years pouring life into your book, making it breathe, it deserves a fighting chance—so you can make the connection we all crave. After all, isn’t that why we write? Connection?

Writing is about surprise—or discovery. About the world. Ourselves. A kind of magic trick where the seemingly mundane becomes something else—somehow universal. During the Gulf War, the only Arabic phrase I’d memorized was Erfah edak!—“Hands up!”

Fortunately, I never had to point a weapon at someone and say that, but I did see thousands of Iraqi soldiers who’d surrendered and understood “surrender” intimately. That got me thinking about the nature of surrender, that it wasn’t necessarily a term of defeat, despite a perception as such.

Intertwined into this idea is the fantasy of one being a “sheepdog” or “protector”—the reason I joined the Marines. But at what point does that ostensibly noble identity become something less positive? When does one cross a line and become a bully—an oppressor?

As I wrote, I subconsciously honed the idea that obedience to an institutional or tribal mythology could itself be a kind of bondage—while fostering only the illusion of “freedom.” It took years, but I ultimately discovered that surrender could be a kind of liberation—a deliverance from dogma.

Recognition maybe—of their lives. Of what lives inside, deep in that quiet place where “bullshit” is impossible—the soul maybe. Another perspective perhaps—on what it means to be alive, a man maybe. A human. The ultimate question, yes, but this is just one human’s perspective on what it’s like to be alive today.

The book is a call to “surrender,” to free ourselves from whatever mythologies dominate us—be it personal, familial, or tribal. I hope readers will find some courage for their personal struggles.

Read. Write. Never quit. Ever.

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