Successful Queries: Gabrielle Pachon and “Blood Beneath the Snow,” by Alexandra Kennington
The best way to learn how to write a successful query is to read one. In this installment, find a query letter (sort of) to editor Gabrielle Pachon for Alexandra Kennington’s debut novel, Blood Beneath the Snow (Ace).
Welcome back to the Successful Queries series. In this installment, find a query letter (sort of) to editor Gabrielle Pachon (Ace) for Alexandra Kennington's debut novel, Blood Beneath the Snow.
Alexandra Kennington (she/her) writes adult and young adult fantasy and science fiction novels. She lives in Utah with her spouse and child. When she’s not knee-deep in a world of her own creation or reading a book with the enemies-to-lovers trope, you’ll find her obsessing over Star Wars or sharing writing advice on TikTok.
Here's Alexandra's query:
Dear [AGENT],
Win, and take the crown.
The Bloodshed Trials are fast approaching. Without magic, eighteen-year-old Revna is banned from participating. But when her father sentences her two best friends to certain death, she presents him with an ultimatum he can’t ignore: she will refuse her arranged marriage and the war alliance that comes with it unless she is permitted to compete for the crown.
Lose, and have your throat slit by your own brother.
Revna stands no chance against older brothers with magical abilities. But she will not back down, even if it means her martyrdom. When she is kidnapped by a masked soldier on the other side of the war, she thinks her conquest is over before it began—until he reveals that he wants to help her take the throne. Despite her best efforts, she begins to fall for him. And to her surprise, she discovers there are others who want her on the throne for their own furtive reasons. As the Trials draw closer and her enemies appear to be her only remaining confidants, Revna must decide who is truly her ally. One misstep means brutal death for her and everyone she loves.
BLOOD BENEATH THE SNOW is a YA fantasy novel complete at 86,000 words. It will appeal to fans of the complicated family dynamics and political intrigue in THREE DARK CROWNS by Kendare Blake and the powerful friendships and forbidden romance of BONE CRIER'S MOON by Kathryn Purdie. This novel has series potential and features a cast diverse in race, sexuality, and gender identity.
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I strive to include accurate representation of sexuality and gender in every book I write, regardless of whether or not identity is a main theme of the text. I have a B.A. in English with a minor in creative writing. I worked on editing this novel with #1 NYT Bestselling Author Kathryn Purdie at the 2020 Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Conference. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Alex Kennington (she/her)
Check out Alexandra Kennington's Blood Beneath the Snow here:
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Alexandra's thoughts on querying:
Blood Beneath the Snow ultimately ended up selling after I’d converted it to a new adult book. When I queried, it was young adult, and this is the query letter I used. It seems to be a common sentiment that most authors don’t love writing query letters—but I genuinely love writing query-style pitches for my work! My day job is in marketing, which has honed my ability to take a step back and view my manuscripts as both projects of my heart and products—a skill I believe every writer can benefit from.
I wanted to keep the query short and concise, within the bounds of traditional query letter formatting rules. I also wanted it to communicate the same high-level stakes and emotion I hoped readers of the manuscript would feel. Ultimately, I feel I was able to convey the main character’s heart and fire while also pitching the book in a way that showed its marketability and left the reader wanting more.
Romantasy was on the rise when I queried (2021-2022), making fantasy a tough genre to break into. My querying journey involved very few requests, and I was about to move on to my next manuscript when I received an offer from my agent. While the nine-month journey was full of rejection, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t persevered through it.
Editor Gabrielle Pachon's commentary:
I received a slightly different pitch letter, since Alex’s original manuscript was YA and we acquired Blood Beneath the Snow as a new adult fantasy. But some of the things that really stood out to me is how the letter called out why it was special: “a diverse cast in race, sexuality, and gender identity.” Whenever I read a pitch letter, I ask myself:
- Who is the audience and is it for the Berkley/Ace reader? And,
- What will make this standout in the marketplace?
I think the call out to how this book would bring a diverse perspective to the fantasy/romantasy genre was key in getting my attention. Then Alex’s incredible knack for pacing took it from there. I think I read the entire book within 24 hours. When I couldn’t put it down, I knew others wouldn’t be able to either.
*****
Gabrielle Pachon is an editor with Berkley/Ace.
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