13 Things You Should Not Say to an Agent or Editor in a Pitch or Query Letter

Sometimes we're a little too positive with our advice on here. We often focus on the things writers should include in their queries and pitches. But there are also things you should not say to an agent or editor.

(What Is the Hook, the Book, and the Cook Pitching Technique?)

These are all things that many would-be authors have included in actual queries and pitches. So if you find yourself doing the same thing, don't fret; you're not alone. However, you should probably change your approach to start finding (more) success.

13 Things You Should Not Say to an Agent or Editor

Use an informal address. It's always better to use an agent's name than a "To whom it may concern" when querying. But it's probably better to use nothing than to only use the agent's first name or (worse!) a nickname. For instance, I never appreciate strangers addressing me as "Bob," "Sir," or even "Rob" (even though many people who aren't strangers address me as Rob). Use the full name the agent or editor provides when making your pitch or query.
"This is going to be a bestseller." Confidence is a great thing, but making claims that you have the next bestseller is going beyond confidence (even if you believe it). Making this claim is an immediate red flag for any agent or editor. At best, the writer making the claim has little publishing experience. At worst, the writer actually believes it and will be a nightmare to work with.
"I'm the next (fill-in-the-blank-with-a-famous-author's-name)." First off, that person already exists. Second, see the above point and multiply it by a thousand. Finally, the best compliment someone can give you eventually is that you're the next you. Just be you. This is especially bad if you use an author who hasn't published a new book in the past decade.
"This manuscript is protected by copyright." Speaking of red flags, an editor or agent should know they're working with a newbie if they discuss copyright in their query letter or pitch. Many writers are afraid of their work getting stolen, but that's not a common occurrence (until they've actually hit it big). Like a percentage of a percentage chance. And I'm sure the offenders were not scared off by copyright.
"My book is X pages long." Don't give a page number, because that's not helpful. Instead, provide a word count, which is easy enough to grab with most word processing programs.
"Everyone will love this book." There's no book in the history of books that EVERYONE loves (or even likes or tolerates). Instead, pinpoint who specifically will love this book. Is it parents? Is it people who read mystery novels? Target your audience.
"I'm X years old." Age is a number, and it shouldn't be in your query. Unless you're 30 and writing a guide specifically for 50-somethings, I'm not interested in your age.
"I've never been published." Even if this is true, don't say it. There's no upside to saying you're inexperienced. Instead, just don't say anything at all regarding your publishing credits (because they don't exist).
Tell a lie. You want to make yourself presentable, but you don't want to present yourself as someone you're not. Don't lie. Don't embellish. Don't "stretch the truth." Avoid oversharing and be honest with what you do share.
"I can fix it up later." Agents and editors expect that they'll have to make slight tweaks to your manuscript, at the very least. In fact, it's possible they'll ask you to do an entire rewrite. But don't say you sent anything less than the very best you could send.
"I can talk about my book on TV shows." Or another variation: "I can do a worldwide book tour." That's great, but it's not helpful unless you're a producer or know a producer who can get you on a specific show. Even then, it may not matter, because you (or your producer friend) will likely be on a different show by time the book is accepted and published.
"I also have this other book." Repeat after me, "One book per query." Even if you've written 100 great books, just pitch one per query. And wow! That's amazing!
"This is the first book in a whole series." It's great if you have a story that can expand into a series of books, but like the previous point, repeat after me, "One book per query." What you can do near the end of your query is include the line, "This book has series potential." But keep it at that and tuck it in near the end.

And there you go. If you want to know what you should say, then check out how to write a query for any genre of writing here (including actual examples of queries that worked for agents).