Mom Jokes & Insult Poetry

Back in the days of track & field and cross country, the guys and I would be running for literally miles and miles with little to occupy our minds but the joys of breathing and muscle fatigue. Maybe joy isn't the proper word.

Anyway, we would distract ourselves by talking on most of our longer runs. We'd make small talk, sing songs we knew, and often joke around. And a common way to joke around was through making silly "mom" jokes. (If mothers are reading this, these "mom" jokes weren't really directed at the mothers; when you're running 12 miles, you just get desperate for ways to pass the time.)

I didn't know it at the time, but mom jokes are relevant to poetry through a format called the insult poem. There are no hard and fast rules to the insult poem, but it's usually done in a joking (all in good fun) fashion as opposed to seriously trying to annoy anyone.

Many insult poems also have a repetitive form or recurring method of delivering the insults. The insult poem is a good way to show just how clever you are (or think you are). But beware writing them! Once you attack someone (even in jest), you are suddenly fair game to receive an insult poem retaliation. 

And now, mothers everywhere will be able to retaliate to me. Oh gosh, here goes my attempt at an insult poem about yo' mamma.

"Your Mom"

Runs like a squirrel with her hands always leading;
has eyes in the back of her head, but she can't see
anything; smells like boiled cabbage or, on bad days,
the dumpster behind Burger King on a triple
digit summer day; tells children her favorite
day is everyone that includes the Golden
Girls, as if children know who any golden girl
is--besides her; belches when she thinks no one listens;
farts in public; picks her nose; clips her toe nails in
front of company; sells bad news to anyone
who'll listen, whether by their own will or not; sends
me Christmas cards confessing her love for midgets
and that she was drunk when she wrote the freaking thing.

I guess I could go on about "Your Mom," but this kind of gets the point across. This piece incorporates a repetitive method of using the the verb directly following "Your Mom" to start each insult, but also varies the length and depth of each insult. Just to keep things interesting.

So now that you're aware of the insult poem, I encourage you to strike out and insult your parents, siblings, milkman, political candidates, pets, friends, etc. Just don't insult me, because that would hurt my feelings. ;)

*****

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